Meaning.
What does it mean what does it all mean what does all this mean
What is the meaning of life?
What’s the point? Whats the purpose why are we here to do things and then leave?
Acid fills us with questions that are too big and we scurry around asking why why why. We’ve figured it out by now, have we not? Why this endless loop of wake up and think things and then go back to sleep. We’re like robots that haven’t been updated yet. Someone is still tinkering with us. We try to understand what we’re doing but we don’t know and they haven’t figured it out yet either. It all comes up slowly and without tunnel vision. There is no end goal.
But there has to be. People know, but it can’t be revealed.
History is a beautiful thing. Wow. Guns and planes and coloured television and automobiles and ayahuasca and tea and writing words formed from hieroglyphs. Hiroshima, cold war, vietman, keep the americans happy!
They know. They already know.
Psychedelics were first bought up in American culture through LIFE magazine where an issue mentioned a businessman with a terminal illness consulting (what they called mushroom tribes??) a shaman to receive a magic mushroom treatment.
A substance like that has to mean something. It can’t simply just be the brain releasing chemicals; the brain gets something out of it. If humans weren’t supposed to have a purpose then why are our brains so complicated? How can neurons and atoms possibly create something so complex on their own considering how long humans have been on this earth (which isn’t very long).
My mind just switched off for a sec. It’s like the acid wasn’t there and I was back to normal. Like a switch. Ego came back and I remembered where I am.
Did someone else do that?
I wonder about mirrors a lot.
Why do humans want everything to mean something so bad. We crave purpose. We want everything to mean so much more than just being and doing and enjoying.
I’m getting distracted again. I can’t think on a clear path like I was. I’m being pushed back to the normal. I think a lot about science. How amazing are the chances of my birth. Me being the winning sperm and egg out of thousands. Where do all those organisms go when they die? Isn’t there some rule in science where you can’t create nor destroy matter?
The conversation of reincarnation makes sense then. I often feel like I’ve been here before.
I was talking about the US government, that’s where I was. LSD became banned and the whole counterculture was crushed because it threatened American life and scared the older generations, but psychedelics have been around for ages and have been used in various religions (especially South America).
If god was real, why would he put such a powerful plant on this planet? Maybe the plants that psychedelics come from are seen as like the forbidden fruit from Adam and Eve. And when we eat them maybe people believe that is hell. What does it all mean? Maybe that’s our hell – not knowing but constantly asking, never getting any closer.
There is definitely something else out there. We know we’re responsible for a lot of the actions on earth right now but we also know that we’re weak and frail and stupid. Climate change is our punishment for being bad dogs. We try so hard to impress our owner but we just don’t know how to fetch or roll over. We try though, we do. We think we’re doing it right until it comes back to us.
People watch us through mirrors. I take mine off the wall at night because I don’t feel at ease to let down my guard when its looming over me, my view exposed. Culture has commonly thought that mirrors are portals, often to people on the other side.
What if heaven and hell is so much deeper than that? What if this is just one level?
This is a side, and the portal is the other side. People don’t die, they leave.
It’s thought that what’s through the mirror is evil, but isn’t our dimension evil enough.
It has to mean something, we wouldn’t come up with this shit for nothing. Why the fuck else would we make physics and drugs and buildings and science? What, are we just uselessly churning around stuff, spending our lives building these things to make us feel righteous? Is it just stuff? Does it mean nothing? What if it’s all wrong and we’re just building up our society on more and more usless shit and its all wrong and the mound of flesh and feces just keeps stacking and oozing over the sides and we try to bottle it up and it just keeps coming because we don’t change.
If god hated this planet so much why wouldn’t he just crush it? Maybe he wants us to feel in control when we finally bring this planet down. Maybe that’s worse than him curhsing us and us not being able to do anything about it. It’s knowing that if we’re in control, we die slowly knowing that we did this. We did all of this.
I feel calm again. It’s easier to not be a part of it now. To separate myself. Things don’t actually mean much. They’re just to look at, to make us feel useful for keeping them.
I keep leaving this on an open ending.
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